i can't fall asleep after i switch off the light n pull the blanket over myself.. almoz every other nite.
n i'm getting better at putting on an i'm ok face during the day.
i walk out from this, more like tossed out from this.. battered n crushed.
i wish i can go to that place in northern ireland.. where i'll be standing on the tip of the cliff n b surrounded by the vast blue sea.. where i can scream my lungs out so the gale n the seawater can carry my pain away.. where everything wil become so insignificant in comparison to the majestic scenery.
that is. i wish. i wish for a lot of things.. like how i wish this wil nvr happen.
i wanna hide n recuperate at sumwhere comforting, therapeutic. i think of that room which i nvr bother to clean. i think of muar. that very peaceful town that i can't wait to get out from once upon a time.
Monday, 1 March 2010
Sunday, 9 August 2009
BAD LUCK is...
when u were sooo mentally drained, the boss refused to approve ur leave!!
weiii i only take leave like once in a blue moon WTH y ppl take leave so easy i ask for ONE day off oso cannot! the best part is.. i was at the moz mou liu dpt in the entire jabatan farmasi called DIU. manatau that day i wan to take leave i was told to cover tpn. -_- lll
weiii i only take leave like once in a blue moon WTH y ppl take leave so easy i ask for ONE day off oso cannot! the best part is.. i was at the moz mou liu dpt in the entire jabatan farmasi called DIU. manatau that day i wan to take leave i was told to cover tpn. -_- lll
when ur weekend was ruined by the isa protest.
man it had to b on a sat when i wanted to indulge myself in a bit of retail therapy. ok i'm reli against isa but man there r juz too many moronic ppl high up there that arrhh lazy to care liao. damn i juz wan a well-deserved nice weekend but due to the horrible jam the bf had decided to turn away n guess where v ended up.. ENDAH PARADE! wah pathetic dao~~! n the bf juz cudn't understand y u r so emo abt it. halo i only come back to kl twice a month y wud i wan to waste my time at god sake's endah parade?! but ok la at least v had a k session at dunno wat box.. definitely more lau yiah than green box.
when u felt that u r often misunderstood or ur efforts r not appreciated.
i know i have attention deficit disorder n i nvr bother to sugar coat my words. but hey being forgetful doesn't make me an irresposible person. gasping for a breath at this sec doesn't mean that i was not working my ass off at other times. it's so sad when i c the responsible frps were alwiz bullied n stressed out wif heavy workload while the lazy unproductive ones stil get paid the same. urrggghh this whole gov service sucks!
when u got into an accident while attempting a 3 point turn.
issh i dunno how or why, totally unexplainable.. brain terlayang sumwhere n juz for that 1 sec it shut down (another symptom of ADD i guess).. tot i was hitting on the brake but i hit the ACCELERATOR instead. n bang!! i ram into a wira's back, parked at the side (wahaha wira again! any1 driving wira pls avoid this cute lil kelisa nx time).
panick la of course so i quickly fled to another street to check on my car n mayb get sum help bfor ppl wanna keng sou wif me. but muar.. being such a SMALL town.. haih the nx thing i know a kepoh uncle catched me up wif his bike n said hey u damaged ppl's bumper adi la. go n talk to him la... he's a teacher. juz go. -_- lll speechless... caught redhanded wahaha.
oklo.. teacher.. then i not so scared geh. so went back again. phew reli a nice person. v agreed that he wil fix his car in the workshop that i recommended then i'll pay the bill. aww uncle.. i'm reli reli sry. but til now i stil cudn't get this uncle.
there r 2 lightbulbs in my room. 1 spoilt so i survived wif only 1 lightbulb for 2 weeks due to procrastination to fix it. when i finally changed it to a new1, the previously surviving lightbulb spoilt 2 days later. -_-lll sigh.
Edited: i changed the lightbulb by my own this time, w/o any help. whoa sense of achievement gao gao.. roarrrr!! i feel so manly.
u juz had to work on THAT weekend.
tot of a having a free n easy sat cos tpn on call only 1 pt. but due to sum stupid reason, stayed back to cover fbw n choked at the air that i was breathing. not kidding the haze was that bad in muar. ok i'm not complaining abt this cos not that i have anything to do had i got home earlier.
ok SUNDAY.. 2 seperate shifts which add up to 8.5 hrs. i juz had the CRAZIEST weekend shift.. EVER. stupid H1N1 causing such a PARANOIA among the ppl n causing me to dispense until i almoz fainted. was soo nauseous that since then i nvr care to wear face mask anymore. n after my shift, i sat in the pantry juz to BREATHE for half an hr until i think i'm fit to drive back home. at least the A&E drs r smart they got a stamp for the std combo, damn v pharmacists shud oso have a recorder. juz hit play if u c the PABET combo (PCM, Actifed, Benadryl, EES n Thymol gargle) coming ur way.
n then like that's not enuf the pts juz had to come on a sunday wif their repeat rx. u told me ur sad o' story bla bla hou fan ah (no sympathy watsoever when 6 out of 10 pts say they wan to go outstation or singapore.. YA RITE). tho v don need to accept repeats at out of office hrs, cudn't juz turn them down.. wat if they reli run out of meds or they susah payah come from far far away.. haih damn hard to make a gud decision in opd 1 ok.
omg it juz made me boil whenever i had to argue wif pt on the repeats policy. n there were these few pts who reli pushed me to my boiling point. GRRR!!! so wat if i lompat ur number i told ya! HUH!!... so wat if u r oso a chinese! HUH!
n the 2nd shift.. fulamak it was sooo OVERwhelming that the ppf had to make a s.o.s to the boss. the boss did sent help.. n oso made a new ppf shift schedule (doubling the workforce) after that.
u found that u r left wif the last pc of toilet tissue when u r in a gud mood to negotiate a big business.
off i went econsave. once i get outta the car i juz had to stepped on a pc of yucky chewing gum. wa y got so uncivilised ppl 1?! ILL. n then when i was at the cashier, felt that there's this random 1 or 2 fella looking at me in such a weird way while whispering to 1 another.
haih.. muar being such a SMALL town again.. halo ur frenly gorgeous pharmacist oso need to shit n use toilet paper 1 ok! oh wait.. mayb i was not being nice to them.. mayb they were whispering.. wa zhe ge yao ji shi... hen shiong o! hen shuai de wo jiao ta gei panadol ta bu yao gei hai dui wo hen bu ke qi. huh don care don care.
when 3 out of 10 patients u dispensed to r either difficult pts or that their rx has query so u have to deal wif difficult drs. watever.. cos both outcomes r the same. u juz feel like slapping them rite in their face bcos they reli get on ur nerves.
urrghh n i had to go tru the horrible experince of pt snatching his meds away from me AGAIN. i hate that i hate that I HATE THAT! it's sooo insulting!! man i was running around like a headless chicken, trying my best to find the key n let u in the counselling room asap. sry for the 1 - 2 min wait.. but halo!! that doesn't mean u can barge in, scold me AND snatched ur meds away from me... BY FORCE!!
man when i refused to give u the meds i reli have a reason. it's WARFARIN.. u told me u dunno wat izzit.. wat r the side effects.. wat r the high vit K vege.. walao wat do u mean by TAK PAYAH!.. babi dao~~! i wudn't wan to curse but don u ever blame the pharmacist if anything happens!!!
n there's this dr n that dr. when u inform them that they made a mistake they'll expect u to solve the prob n if u don.. they have the cheek to look down on u n give u that tone.. eh stupid pharmacist.. so how?!.. walao my dear dr, u r the 1 who made this mistake i shud ask u SO HOW?! dunno who's more stupid. Ish!
when the DD did not tally on the week that u were in charged.
i cudn't do checked & found correct cos the 1st bakul of the day contains DD oredi. when i tried checking in between, the record n the physical stock of not 1 but FEW were not tally. pfffttt... frps were too bz to care abt it. i got stressed out when all these were written C&F correct bfor me.. eh betul ke ni?! n to make things worse i once mixed up clonazepam n lorazepam during peak hrs.. haiyo all zepam zepam.. luckily was detected bfor supplying to pt. so i had to stay til 10pm 1 fine day, squinting my eyes going tru comp records fulamak, juz to get the whole thing rite.
when u fail to break this stupid curse.
everyday the LAST rx i dispensed bfor i go home SURE got prob 1!! walao.. alwiz overtime lidat damn sien ok!! i tried staying at the filling place when it's 4.55pm that day hoping to break the curse but dammit by 5pm there's a transient bz moment so the frp asked me to give number n once i gave the number... A&E rx wif Augmentin!! n the funny thing is pt claimed to b allergic to amoxicillin!! zha dao.. i strategise nice nice oso can't escape the curse!
Edited: so i break the curse today yoohoo (20/8, cos the luvly yeongru shoo me away at 5pm haha)!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
i know the bad luck had been around for awhile now. but i superstitiously think it's augmented by this incident.
1 day after evening shift, went to get my car (around 9.45pm). ok drag nite-shift-ming along cos i'm so chicken lidat. then on the way.. v saw 2 ppk pushing a katil sorong mayat. aiyak!! nowhere to escape n i clutched ming's arms so tightly while passing that thing. choi choi choi!! ok tho i think it's empty but it's freaking spooky weh!! then the courageous n gorgeous colleague suddenly pointed out.. hey i think there's sum1 there.
WAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
i screamed n PECUT-ED 100m leaving poor ming behind. sry that was self-defense mechansim my brain din process that move ok. no ghost story la.. that was dr loo. wa that fella c he tall n not bad looking oo bit of acne prob.. but huh! he juz drove past 2 helpless pharmacists wandering in the dark. minus mark! oh watever the ending of the story is.. after going tru all these terrifying episodes.. actually my car was NOT parked there. dssh -_-lll i juz happen to mix up where i park again.. which happen very often lately wahaha.
ok moral of the story is rmb where u park, n try to avoid that katil sorong mayat, bad chi.
++++++++++++++++++++++++
all these physical n mental stress had finally taken a toll on me. it's 1st manifested as fatigue, bad mood, short temper, LOA (my std not the general population std), worsestil backache, myalgia, n now i wake up to find a sore achilles tendon n had to drag my rite feet a little. how how how later stil have to watch eason leh!
Edited: ok now it's not dragging a little.. it's the limping kinda dragging.. uhh that's so awful esp along that long walkway where i'd bum into pakar toh!
Edited (20/8): ok it swells like roti now no kidding.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
all prps who r having a bad time. come. shout wif me.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok now to all OVERWORKED prps in the state of JOHOR. come. shout it out LOUD wif me.
AAARRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, 7 August 2009
random weekday outing in MALACCA
... back in oh-shit-i-forget-when but ming was stil in THAT hairstyle... muz b long ago. Edited: ok that was 3rd june, 2009.
it's 1 fine wednesday when v tot v were so sick of muar so v had a afterwork getaway at malacca which is actually not too faraway. c'mon try me! ask me the direction.
so i had my 1st experience of satay celup. serendipity. 1 wrong turn led us to this super famous satay celup place.. CAPITOL.
mmm~~ the potentially salmonella or hep A colonised herby satay sauce bursting into ur mouth at 1st bite of the zhan zhue bao. n a sip of that refreshing coconut water. whoa~~ that was sooo therapeutic after a long day of stress at work!!!
wee ~~ finally there r pics on rhapsodisiac!
ah ming... that's a cool earmuff muahahaha!
stop using prawns as the prop.
introducing our shy shy mr. wee AND...
the food. keke.
but satay celup is strictly a once in a blue moon indulgence. the 2nd time i had it in july (this time bside Capitol).. no more THAT therapeutic factor. yep it's overrated but so? the queue outside capitol is stil NVRending.
watched TERMINATOR SALVATION after that. too bad it din appeal to me. i like the 2nd instalment more.. ya i'm so old skool lidat. the bat ji soh wai CLEAR dandruff shampoo commercial bfor the movie was much more entertaining wakakaka.
haih. after almoz 10 months of prp posting in muar.. this is our ONLY random weekday outing. ya go on laughing.. life is pathetic over here at times. v only have tanjong emas, wetex n ktv maharani.
but who knows many yrs down the road... i'll miss the simplicity n the tranquility in muar.
ya n that's when i retire.
it's 1 fine wednesday when v tot v were so sick of muar so v had a afterwork getaway at malacca which is actually not too faraway. c'mon try me! ask me the direction.
so i had my 1st experience of satay celup. serendipity. 1 wrong turn led us to this super famous satay celup place.. CAPITOL.
mmm~~ the potentially salmonella or hep A colonised herby satay sauce bursting into ur mouth at 1st bite of the zhan zhue bao. n a sip of that refreshing coconut water. whoa~~ that was sooo therapeutic after a long day of stress at work!!!
wee ~~ finally there r pics on rhapsodisiac!
ah ming... that's a cool earmuff muahahaha!
stop using prawns as the prop.
introducing our shy shy mr. wee AND...
the food. keke.
but satay celup is strictly a once in a blue moon indulgence. the 2nd time i had it in july (this time bside Capitol).. no more THAT therapeutic factor. yep it's overrated but so? the queue outside capitol is stil NVRending.
watched TERMINATOR SALVATION after that. too bad it din appeal to me. i like the 2nd instalment more.. ya i'm so old skool lidat. the bat ji soh wai CLEAR dandruff shampoo commercial bfor the movie was much more entertaining wakakaka.
haih. after almoz 10 months of prp posting in muar.. this is our ONLY random weekday outing. ya go on laughing.. life is pathetic over here at times. v only have tanjong emas, wetex n ktv maharani.
but who knows many yrs down the road... i'll miss the simplicity n the tranquility in muar.
ya n that's when i retire.
Sunday, 19 July 2009
aww my dear fungus infested blog
sek sek.
am now back to a full blown drama addict. shall check for buttocksore but it's ok i can alwiz curi sum duoderm gel. heck lately i'm watching the sandra oh talkshow. Edited: oops that's YANG in grey's anatomy. (come to think abt it... i think i have a bit of yang in me minus the reli smart part i juz like to berlagak pandai muahaha. oo gee no wonder i'm so not likeable.) ok back to the topic... ya i mean SANDRA NG. gossips of hk entertainment scene r alwiz so yummy. it may b waste of time watching sth so senseless but that boisterous trandemark laughter juz kept me glued to the monitor muahaha.
n i've got nth more to write other than ranting abt my work. cos sumhow i juz got myself into a series of minor unfortunate events... again.
...like the warfarin clinic.
called for md yusof bin A n he walked up to me. he insisted he took 4mg instead of 1.5mg as written in the warfarin booklet, me n the frp can only think of haih another lou mong dong uncle or worsestil, medication dispensing error!
2 hrs later another pt's name was called. md yusof bin T. pt walked up n said i'm md yusof bin A which pushed a panick button in every1.. eh md yusof bin A went home wif his meds liao not meh?! a look at md yusof bin T's booklet n shit he's on warfarin 4mg. so desu neh~~
there were 2 md yusof. the bin A juz now is act bin T n the md yusof that came in 2 hrs later is the REAL bin A. bin T whom v tot is subtherapeutic was overwarfarinised while bin A whose subtherapeutic cudn't get his dosage adjusted cos his booklet wif bin T. finally bin T was called back to the hosp n every1 was relieved end of story.
it's ok if u don understand wat i'm talking abt but anyway... v were like sooooo close to make a reli BIG mistake wif consequences i cudn't bear to think of, which v may be held responsible.. partially. no incident reporting lucky lucky. all this in front of THAT MO wif THE aura who doesn't reli care abt pharmacist recommendation. haih.
...like the MDI counselling. issh she juz had to laugh non stop.
when i demonstrated how to picit dan sedut serentak she went hysteric n reached out for a towel to wipe her tears.
INSULTED DAOoooooooo~! halo wat's so funny?!
but then it's reli funnny that she can laugh until lidat on sth which is totally NOT funny in the end i tot it's TOO funny so i oso laughed so hard bfor i realised my sayang shy shy pakar toh n THAT MO wif THE aura were looking at me. uurrggh berbuat malu lagi! 2nd time i crushed my image as a gentle, sophisticated, dedicated, n gorgeous pharmacist in front of shy shy toh.
y can't he ever c me in action when i'm in gentle, sophisticated, dedicated n gorgeous mode?! shall rebuild my image by supplying him 1 whole tube of bonjela nx time instead of piciting 1/3 of the tube into a small container.
...like the W17 incident.
shoot i know i did looked very very stupid in front of this particular paed MO but since then i juz have to bum into him again n again every single day!!! arrghh!! n sumtimes wif her gf rite bside him n when u c both of them giggling n were looking at me wif the corner of their eyes, i'll b terasa that he's sharing the stupid incident wif the beloved gf which the beloved gf may share wif every1 else in the medical ward. dsshh.
...like my poor stomach.
was soo hungry after lunch call n then i went to my fav chicken rice shop for a plate of chicken breast rice + a plate of steam vege + soup + drinks then in the middle of counselling a type 1 DM pt i suddenly have the urge of puking so i had to tell my pt oh i need to get u sum needles n ran asap to the pharmacy building's toilet to puke to my heart's content then went back to him n said hey here comes ur free needles. che wa talk abt profesionalism.
cudn't tolerate orally the entire day, severe gastric discomfort d/t hypersecretion of acid, shaking in hunger.. nauseous.. ALONE.. huuuu... mummy where r u??
n the irony was that the nx day i had to do on call TPN shift, preparing TPN bags for pt who cudn't tolerate orally. T__T
n that's y i'm not reli in a mood to blog. oops i did it again... wahaha... another unintentionally lengthy ranty blog. ok... i shall post pics n write not more than 50 words in my nx entry. promise!!!
bfor that i shall neutralise it wif sum recent accomplishment in my life like...
learnt to pump air into tyre yeh yeh.. shhh don tell daddy my tyres pressure were holy shit! as low as 9kPa! it's more like running on the rim instead of the rubber. 29 to 9.. siao!
1 day makan makan trip to malacca. *satisfaction gao gao* except for the reli dumbass movie called obsessed muahahaha tak bleh tahan nowadays stil got ppl wan to make stooopid movies lidat.
finished hiv presentation slides overnite.
had a surprised party for july babies.
survived wif 1 lightbulb in the bedroom.
rmb to empty the pockets of labcoat when i spin it in the washing machine. no more damaged pens, hosp tag, name tag or shredded prescriptions.
spent on lotsa lotsa CDs n i think my collection has hit 100 yoohoo!
++++++
ehhhh i wan to watch super band concert!!! i luv zhang zhen yue!!! si nian shi yi zhong bing.. 0~ 0~ but so sad by the time i knew abt it all the cheap tickets were sold out... watta do i live in an era w/o newspapers. pls don ask me to go check out thestar.com.my cos i only like to flip tru newsPAPERS that stained my fingers black.
how nice if sum1 wil call me up on this sat n say hey i can't go to the super band concert AND i have 2 tickets for u. NEH.. impossible!
FINE. i'm gonna watch eason's concert on 16th aug then. ahhh i wan to watch it so badly *fingers crossed* cheap tickets stil available.. pls.. pls. don care. take leave! wow workaholic-lin (cheh wa betul ke ni) taking a break finally.
n oh ya... PAINTBALL! i wan to play paintball too! ah ming shud v start organising a paintball outing for end of aug? .. ok shall talk abt this later i stil dunno which case to choose for my clinical presentation.
am now back to a full blown drama addict. shall check for buttocksore but it's ok i can alwiz curi sum duoderm gel. heck lately i'm watching the sandra oh talkshow. Edited: oops that's YANG in grey's anatomy. (come to think abt it... i think i have a bit of yang in me minus the reli smart part i juz like to berlagak pandai muahaha. oo gee no wonder i'm so not likeable.) ok back to the topic... ya i mean SANDRA NG. gossips of hk entertainment scene r alwiz so yummy. it may b waste of time watching sth so senseless but that boisterous trandemark laughter juz kept me glued to the monitor muahaha.
n i've got nth more to write other than ranting abt my work. cos sumhow i juz got myself into a series of minor unfortunate events... again.
...like the warfarin clinic.
called for md yusof bin A n he walked up to me. he insisted he took 4mg instead of 1.5mg as written in the warfarin booklet, me n the frp can only think of haih another lou mong dong uncle or worsestil, medication dispensing error!
2 hrs later another pt's name was called. md yusof bin T. pt walked up n said i'm md yusof bin A which pushed a panick button in every1.. eh md yusof bin A went home wif his meds liao not meh?! a look at md yusof bin T's booklet n shit he's on warfarin 4mg. so desu neh~~
there were 2 md yusof. the bin A juz now is act bin T n the md yusof that came in 2 hrs later is the REAL bin A. bin T whom v tot is subtherapeutic was overwarfarinised while bin A whose subtherapeutic cudn't get his dosage adjusted cos his booklet wif bin T. finally bin T was called back to the hosp n every1 was relieved end of story.
it's ok if u don understand wat i'm talking abt but anyway... v were like sooooo close to make a reli BIG mistake wif consequences i cudn't bear to think of, which v may be held responsible.. partially. no incident reporting lucky lucky. all this in front of THAT MO wif THE aura who doesn't reli care abt pharmacist recommendation. haih.
...like the MDI counselling. issh she juz had to laugh non stop.
when i demonstrated how to picit dan sedut serentak she went hysteric n reached out for a towel to wipe her tears.
INSULTED DAOoooooooo~! halo wat's so funny?!
but then it's reli funnny that she can laugh until lidat on sth which is totally NOT funny in the end i tot it's TOO funny so i oso laughed so hard bfor i realised my sayang shy shy pakar toh n THAT MO wif THE aura were looking at me. uurrggh berbuat malu lagi! 2nd time i crushed my image as a gentle, sophisticated, dedicated, n gorgeous pharmacist in front of shy shy toh.
y can't he ever c me in action when i'm in gentle, sophisticated, dedicated n gorgeous mode?! shall rebuild my image by supplying him 1 whole tube of bonjela nx time instead of piciting 1/3 of the tube into a small container.
...like the W17 incident.
shoot i know i did looked very very stupid in front of this particular paed MO but since then i juz have to bum into him again n again every single day!!! arrghh!! n sumtimes wif her gf rite bside him n when u c both of them giggling n were looking at me wif the corner of their eyes, i'll b terasa that he's sharing the stupid incident wif the beloved gf which the beloved gf may share wif every1 else in the medical ward. dsshh.
...like my poor stomach.
was soo hungry after lunch call n then i went to my fav chicken rice shop for a plate of chicken breast rice + a plate of steam vege + soup + drinks then in the middle of counselling a type 1 DM pt i suddenly have the urge of puking so i had to tell my pt oh i need to get u sum needles n ran asap to the pharmacy building's toilet to puke to my heart's content then went back to him n said hey here comes ur free needles. che wa talk abt profesionalism.
cudn't tolerate orally the entire day, severe gastric discomfort d/t hypersecretion of acid, shaking in hunger.. nauseous.. ALONE.. huuuu... mummy where r u??
n the irony was that the nx day i had to do on call TPN shift, preparing TPN bags for pt who cudn't tolerate orally. T__T
n that's y i'm not reli in a mood to blog. oops i did it again... wahaha... another unintentionally lengthy ranty blog. ok... i shall post pics n write not more than 50 words in my nx entry. promise!!!
bfor that i shall neutralise it wif sum recent accomplishment in my life like...
learnt to pump air into tyre yeh yeh.. shhh don tell daddy my tyres pressure were holy shit! as low as 9kPa! it's more like running on the rim instead of the rubber. 29 to 9.. siao!
1 day makan makan trip to malacca. *satisfaction gao gao* except for the reli dumbass movie called obsessed muahahaha tak bleh tahan nowadays stil got ppl wan to make stooopid movies lidat.
finished hiv presentation slides overnite.
had a surprised party for july babies.
survived wif 1 lightbulb in the bedroom.
rmb to empty the pockets of labcoat when i spin it in the washing machine. no more damaged pens, hosp tag, name tag or shredded prescriptions.
spent on lotsa lotsa CDs n i think my collection has hit 100 yoohoo!
++++++
ehhhh i wan to watch super band concert!!! i luv zhang zhen yue!!! si nian shi yi zhong bing.. 0~ 0~ but so sad by the time i knew abt it all the cheap tickets were sold out... watta do i live in an era w/o newspapers. pls don ask me to go check out thestar.com.my cos i only like to flip tru newsPAPERS that stained my fingers black.
how nice if sum1 wil call me up on this sat n say hey i can't go to the super band concert AND i have 2 tickets for u. NEH.. impossible!
FINE. i'm gonna watch eason's concert on 16th aug then. ahhh i wan to watch it so badly *fingers crossed* cheap tickets stil available.. pls.. pls. don care. take leave! wow workaholic-lin (cheh wa betul ke ni) taking a break finally.
n oh ya... PAINTBALL! i wan to play paintball too! ah ming shud v start organising a paintball outing for end of aug? .. ok shall talk abt this later i stil dunno which case to choose for my clinical presentation.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
i think i have a crush on this MO
so there he was. examining his pt professionally n discussing the case wif his HO (well more like imparting his knowledge n experience selflessly). MEN (esp DOCTORS keke) who r dedicated n serious at work r simply irresistible!! gee don u all agree?
then he turned over n acknowledged us, the tpn pharmacists, wif a smile that aww melts mah heart. n the nx thing v know.. he started to TALK to us! omg so unexpected... *heart fluttered at 120 beats/min, BP raised to 160/100 mmHg, face.. bloodshot!*
then he turned over n acknowledged us, the tpn pharmacists, wif a smile that aww melts mah heart. n the nx thing v know.. he started to TALK to us! omg so unexpected... *heart fluttered at 120 beats/min, BP raised to 160/100 mmHg, face.. bloodshot!*
he's sooooooooooooooo polite n softspoken my gudness!! where got MO so angelic 1?! *hmmph juz think abt 'kanasai'*
he said sth like planning to wean off pt's tpn, increase feeding n increase the tpn request. so he asked us POLITELY to recalculate everything wif a higher calorie n volume. mm mm mm me n ming juz nodded all the way. occasionally adding in sum senseless words like..
me : ya sure v can recalculate it. or
ming: no prob, v can compound from scratch.
to which he said.. no prob rite? u can juz add few scoops into it.
mm.. mm. stil nodding. *eyes open wide suddenly*
SCOOPS?! nani?! did he juz said SCOOPS?!
BWAHAHAHHAHAHAH!!!!
apa la ni u tot v bancuh fernleaf milk ah HARH!!! 3 scoops of fernleaf milk powder, 2 scoops of soya powder, 1 teaspoon of sugar bla bla.. eh halo v use needles syringes n spikes under strictly aseptic laminar flow condition 1 ok... scoops?! wat the?!
aikss... instead of bursting into my wildest laughter or correcting him wif a sarcastic statement like the above or watever, v act did nth but smile=) ahhh there u go.. 2 spineless pharmacists.
n it's only until v got got out of ward that v realised.. eh did he juz say wean off tpn? but y does he wan to increase pt's tpn load? shudn't v taper it down?! ok all these queries started to spring into our mind 1 by 1. omg this is bad. our brains juz stop functioning properly when he's within our sight.. no it's more like slow/delayed release formulation, n he's the inhibitor for the release haha.
luckily v get to sort things out wif the dietician later. yes it's tapering down tpn v r so rite.
so this is wat i called STARSTRUCK!
HE is Dr. 'William Sou Wing Hong'.. or i shall address him affectionately as dr. so in my blog. no i'm not kidding... he RELI looks like this!
talk abt resemblance, on the scale of 1 to 10, i wud say 8! but if compared to the pic above taken from healing hands, it wud b 9.6 out of 10!!! serious! akakakkakakak!
woot now only i realise HE HAS EXACTLY the SAME HAIRSTYLE as the character kong moon yuet in the show!!
OMG.... BWAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! *hysterical liao*.. where got so ngam 1?! mayb he got inspired by sou wing hong in this drama, he told himself.. hey i wan to look like that too! so since then he started to comb his hair that way n the rest is history.
that hair... juz nvr fail to make my day=) =) =) v alwiz wonder how much gel he use every morning to style that hair? n ky said... few SCOOPS mayb. *rofl*
sheez starstruck gao gao. signs n symptoms of dr. william so effect..
-elevation of BP n HR
- impairment in thinking, reversible if inhibitor is removed
-woobly feet (that's ming),
-fainty (that's me).
shyz.. no la not crush la. he's happily married by the way. aww... so luvly.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
so i luv tpn bcos it's quite a chill dpt. early morning u clerk the case n ogle at dr. so (to much of my disappointment dr. so's pt off tpn liao). hmm i reli enjoy this sorta collaboration btw diff professions, so cool lidat. n i reli enjoy going to ward (correction: ward wif air-cond! medical wards.. no NO!) then u go into the sterile room, u do things at ur own pace wif no patients to stress u out, after that yayz it's time to claim sum off petangs cos u'll b so darn free!
but i tak nak buang bubble! i hate i hate i hate. grrrrrrrrrrrr.... every1 who knows me wil know how impatient i am.. those bubbles juz get on my nerves!! asking me to buang bubble is like asking me to walk gracefully in 3 inches heels or stitch tiny sequin beads on those kemahiran hidup project. tsk tsk... such delicate stuff. i'm too man for that yo!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
my short term memory has been terrible all these while but lately.. my level of forgetfulness has srsly gone up few notches. that day after finishing tpn.. i push the trolley out using the laluan produk while i went out using the laluan orang which then connected to the tpn office. mins later, ming called.. jom have lunch! to which i replied yayz c u in opd.
n i freaking left all my tpn bags n heparin saline there. rite outside the door of laluan produk!! luckily kak mas saw it. i only knew it like half an hr AFTER i was back from lunch.
holy shit!! those things totally slipped off my mind once i stepped out of the laluan org. WHY?! HOW can this happen?! tho i din kena for this cos it's juz tpn bags.. but wat if it's other things? sth urgent? sth to do wif lifes? i'm going to b an frp in half a yr's time wif lotsa responsiblities n boy, if my mind is deteriorating at the rate that it is now, i'm going to get myself in BIG trouble.
so wat do i do? does gingko helps? i wonder.
*oh oh i'm in trouble.. sth's gonna stop me from being in trouble yeh yeh*
Sunday, 24 May 2009
romeo take me sumwhere v can b alone
i'll b waiting all there's left to do is run
u'll b the prince n i'll b the princess
it's a love story baby juz say yes
it's kay's ringtone.
it's sinlee's caller ringtone.
it's on yahoo video.
it's on suria fm.
it's on hitz. fm.
it's officially THE opd song.
i've went from liking the song to sick of the song to liking the song n then sick of the song again that i'm not too sure whether i like this song or not but i find myself singing along n jiving wif it, n am stil humming it now. shit.
yeah that was pretty much my weekend in muar.. indie gal catching the love story bug in opd.
ah so sick of work srsly. the last time i took leave was during cny holy moly can u blif it?! so for the heck of it i act took an off from work last mon n moz importanly, i wanted to catch a gig on the sunday itself. turned out i was late for my fav band n the not so indie bf tot that it's no longer worth paying rm40 for the ticket so v went on duke highway (saje.. i have sense of direction 1 eh) to go to 1u. *no.. i'm not trying to blame u or wat. jgn terasa.*
v ended up watching angels n demons (tho it sounded impromptu here but no! it's in our plan keke).
ANGELS n DEMONS!! how can v not b excited of it!! esp thoses of us who happened to lepak around pantheon on the afternoon of 18th june 2008!!
...there was a huge crowd. v were so curious that v squeeze our way amongst the crowd n v instantly got the news that tom hanks were filming. yao mou?! tom hanks weh!! toes tipping like a ballerina n neck stretching out like a giraffe.
there. i. saw. tom. hanks!!
v saw the crew filming there!! v freaking saw tom hanks!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! *squeals of a fan* n dear the smartypants figured out that it's angels n demons. bingo 'kim'!!
i went to the cinema w/o any expectation cos i tot da vincci code totally suck sry i juz don get it n i've nvr read any dan brown books. correction: not like i read ANY books other than shin chan. gosh y am i so shallow. ok where was i.
oh ya. but when the movie started i was like a hyper fidgety kid pointing at the screen pulling the sleeves of mom (err bf in this case) n whispered... oh hey i've been here... oh hey i've been there.. ohh see... ohh look... ohh i miss this place... ohhh... n eagerly waiting for THE very scene v saw in rome. n yep only ppl like us wil act pay attn to the otherwise neglected corner of the scene.
*spoiler's ahead*
it's the scene where the italian police officers r doing their thang ala crime scene investigation while talking to robert langdon so v the curious fans fit in perfectly as those busybody curious onlookers. AH HA this is so genius... rmb to check this out yo.
CAST
suilin tan....... curious onlooker #123
n arrggh i shud've known that the person who is moz unlikely to b the bad guy IS the bad guy. but i stupidly let myself FOOLED til the end!!! hmm let's guess wat wil my score b if i do a mensa test.
man u juz gotta blif that camerlengo patrick has the heart of a saint when the person playing it is noneother than EWAN MCGREGOR! wif his earnest n handsome face how can any1 have the heart to think of him as the villain?! aww... *stil in denial.. i'm not stupid.. i'm not stupid. *
+++
back to my weekend. lying on the bed doing absolutely nth on a sat n sun morning, wif an ipod.. that's a newfound bliss=) n the luxury where u can refuse to get out of bed... is priceless! i don need to b awaken by irritating alarm n off it n let it snooze again until i finally get up at the 3rd snooze. but nvrtheless i'm stil rushing like a headless chicken to work.
sat bcos of ugly betty.
sun bcos of csi miami... u know... that man is full of secrets.. n zap! commercial break.
WAT THE!!
so wat r the secrets?! i'm dying to know!! but i have to get my ass off the couch cos it's oredi 12.46pm. n i've yet to put on my contacts change my clothes n fill up my water tumbler.. n i stil clocked in at 1pm=) see! how can i not love muar.
there was i revisiting my glorious days of being a couch potato n hey i only had national tv back then no fancy fancy wah lai toi or axn. it's a thurs nite in muar.. me n cyee juz tuned in to 8tv for fei tin.. n the nx thing v know.. there's flaming butterfly AND americal idol final 2 woohoo!!
i've nvr watched any episode of americal idol this season but i'm lucky enuf to catch adam lambert in the final 2. it's so damn obvious that he's the better of the 2 esp when both of them r singing no boundaries. kris has pretty much ordinari-fy the song until u had to wonder ehh the same song ah?
n omg! the rendition of we are the champions, n for that few secs it felt like adam was possessed by freddie mercury!! (hey come to think of it y many of my idols either commit suicide or died a tragic death 1 ah?) but too bad he only solo-ed for a wee while.. i juz cudn't get enuf of that voice.. urrghh sending chills down my spine.. (oh hey interesting fact #2- freddie n adam r both gay!) i juz wished i can take kris off n let adam strut his stuff alone truout the whole song.
haih so it's this flawed voting system again. wat's wrong wif being gay? wat's wrong wif being gothic?! oh mayb there's sth wrong. so i shud stop wearing black baju ketat to work everyday haha.
watever it is, i'm stil a true blue couch potato after all these yrs! yayz.
hail the couch potato! hail lin-sama!
u'll b the prince n i'll b the princess
it's a love story baby juz say yes
it's kay's ringtone.
it's sinlee's caller ringtone.
it's on yahoo video.
it's on suria fm.
it's on hitz. fm.
it's officially THE opd song.
i've went from liking the song to sick of the song to liking the song n then sick of the song again that i'm not too sure whether i like this song or not but i find myself singing along n jiving wif it, n am stil humming it now. shit.
yeah that was pretty much my weekend in muar.. indie gal catching the love story bug in opd.
ah so sick of work srsly. the last time i took leave was during cny holy moly can u blif it?! so for the heck of it i act took an off from work last mon n moz importanly, i wanted to catch a gig on the sunday itself. turned out i was late for my fav band n the not so indie bf tot that it's no longer worth paying rm40 for the ticket so v went on duke highway (saje.. i have sense of direction 1 eh) to go to 1u. *no.. i'm not trying to blame u or wat. jgn terasa.*
v ended up watching angels n demons (tho it sounded impromptu here but no! it's in our plan keke).
ANGELS n DEMONS!! how can v not b excited of it!! esp thoses of us who happened to lepak around pantheon on the afternoon of 18th june 2008!!
...there was a huge crowd. v were so curious that v squeeze our way amongst the crowd n v instantly got the news that tom hanks were filming. yao mou?! tom hanks weh!! toes tipping like a ballerina n neck stretching out like a giraffe.
there. i. saw. tom. hanks!!
v saw the crew filming there!! v freaking saw tom hanks!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! *squeals of a fan* n dear the smartypants figured out that it's angels n demons. bingo 'kim'!!
i went to the cinema w/o any expectation cos i tot da vincci code totally suck sry i juz don get it n i've nvr read any dan brown books. correction: not like i read ANY books other than shin chan. gosh y am i so shallow. ok where was i.
oh ya. but when the movie started i was like a hyper fidgety kid pointing at the screen pulling the sleeves of mom (err bf in this case) n whispered... oh hey i've been here... oh hey i've been there.. ohh see... ohh look... ohh i miss this place... ohhh... n eagerly waiting for THE very scene v saw in rome. n yep only ppl like us wil act pay attn to the otherwise neglected corner of the scene.
*spoiler's ahead*
it's the scene where the italian police officers r doing their thang ala crime scene investigation while talking to robert langdon so v the curious fans fit in perfectly as those busybody curious onlookers. AH HA this is so genius... rmb to check this out yo.
CAST
suilin tan....... curious onlooker #123
n arrggh i shud've known that the person who is moz unlikely to b the bad guy IS the bad guy. but i stupidly let myself FOOLED til the end!!! hmm let's guess wat wil my score b if i do a mensa test.
man u juz gotta blif that camerlengo patrick has the heart of a saint when the person playing it is noneother than EWAN MCGREGOR! wif his earnest n handsome face how can any1 have the heart to think of him as the villain?! aww... *stil in denial.. i'm not stupid.. i'm not stupid. *
+++
back to my weekend. lying on the bed doing absolutely nth on a sat n sun morning, wif an ipod.. that's a newfound bliss=) n the luxury where u can refuse to get out of bed... is priceless! i don need to b awaken by irritating alarm n off it n let it snooze again until i finally get up at the 3rd snooze. but nvrtheless i'm stil rushing like a headless chicken to work.
sat bcos of ugly betty.
sun bcos of csi miami... u know... that man is full of secrets.. n zap! commercial break.
WAT THE!!
so wat r the secrets?! i'm dying to know!! but i have to get my ass off the couch cos it's oredi 12.46pm. n i've yet to put on my contacts change my clothes n fill up my water tumbler.. n i stil clocked in at 1pm=) see! how can i not love muar.
there was i revisiting my glorious days of being a couch potato n hey i only had national tv back then no fancy fancy wah lai toi or axn. it's a thurs nite in muar.. me n cyee juz tuned in to 8tv for fei tin.. n the nx thing v know.. there's flaming butterfly AND americal idol final 2 woohoo!!
i've nvr watched any episode of americal idol this season but i'm lucky enuf to catch adam lambert in the final 2. it's so damn obvious that he's the better of the 2 esp when both of them r singing no boundaries. kris has pretty much ordinari-fy the song until u had to wonder ehh the same song ah?
n omg! the rendition of we are the champions, n for that few secs it felt like adam was possessed by freddie mercury!! (hey come to think of it y many of my idols either commit suicide or died a tragic death 1 ah?) but too bad he only solo-ed for a wee while.. i juz cudn't get enuf of that voice.. urrghh sending chills down my spine.. (oh hey interesting fact #2- freddie n adam r both gay!) i juz wished i can take kris off n let adam strut his stuff alone truout the whole song.
haih so it's this flawed voting system again. wat's wrong wif being gay? wat's wrong wif being gothic?! oh mayb there's sth wrong. so i shud stop wearing black baju ketat to work everyday haha.
watever it is, i'm stil a true blue couch potato after all these yrs! yayz.
hail the couch potato! hail lin-sama!
Sunday, 12 April 2009
of see-saw n many things random
i seriously think i have this inability to exist as a whole at any 1 place at any 1 time. like my body n soul r in 2 separate dimensions. n that my heart n my mind r seesawing btw idealization n reality, btw 2 opposite characters, or juz any 2 extreme points.
tots in my mind r like scattered lil pieces of jigsaw puzzles that form an abstract painting. ya at the age of 24 i stil cudn't get the whole pic. i'm stil this lost kid who cudn't articulate her tots... ah hell.. emo bemo lynno can juz cry when listening to 'lost' over n over again.
i've not written any blog in march. but i don rmb studying for my forensics either. all i rmb was.. oops.. i did spent A LOT of time lying on the bed. daydreaming or sleeping. sumtimes it irks me that i spent so much time doing nth.. despite many resolutions i'm stil doing NTH every single day. it's pretty scary how time flies truout the prp yr. it can only mean 2 things.
1) i'm stil a noobie after half a yr.
2) i may b nearer to the day of getting posted to sum ulu kk... huuuuuuuu.
talk abt forensics exam, i alwiz have this fear that i cudn't pass. cos of KARMA. for commiting a crime that i was not brave enuf to confess! the day bfor forensics, i drove out for dinner tgt wif housemates. did a reverse while discussing n getting stressed out on the past yr questions. n the nx thing i know.. BAM!!!!
OOPS i forgot to look at the MIRRORS!!! *quickly turn to the back to check out wat's going on!*
i BANG a WIRA!!!!
AND
i caused a DENT on the car!!!!
OMG!!! it.juz.happened. how how how how *panick attack*
n i did wat all noob drivers wud do.. LEAVE the crime scene as quickly as possible!! NOTE: under the advice of housemates hor.
was uneasy the whole day.. i wanted to leave a note but unfortunately i hadn't finish studying!! wat if the owner's a gangster n beat me up?! or a fierce uncle who'll scold me all the way?! i cudn't risk getting emotionally disturbed or causing unnecessary stress to my housemates.
if this incident were to happen on any other ordinary day n not a day bfor my forensics, i'll write an apology note, i'll pay to compensate for the dent. yes, for sure. i'm NOT an irresponsible person, oh lordy pls let me pass forensics... it's simply excruciating to read those sections n regulations which rarely contain a comma or a fullstop.. AGAIN.
eh btw it's april , the month where gor gor leslie cheung n kurt cobain, 2 of my fav idols, decided to take their own lifes. read kurt cobains suicide note.. man it's so destructive to feel jaded. i do feel jaded every now n then, izzit sth alarming? no worries they r like mega-superstars weh, u gotta get til that high up to drop til that low in ur life.
sumtimes my heart wil b dancing so happily like doing a jai-ho.. omg that's like the moz infectious song wif the moz infectious dance scene lately. i'm so driven to sign up an indian dance class like.. rite now.
see i can b a very energetic, enthusiastic n pasionate person.. but of course u need to b in the rite time rite place wif the rite bunch of ppl to set the fire ablaze.
there r oso times that i think i can do sth great.. sth that can change the world (che wa.. like morphing into a power ranger, do a bono, al gore or angelina jolie sorta thing. haha ya i know.. wat on earth am i thinking rite??)
y do i stil feel useless? i've got a degree, i'm sorta financial independent, i have a car. i have a room of my own, i'm away from kl for at least 20 days in a month. y do i stil feel so stiffled every now n then??
i've read my prev blog entries, n then i read other ppl's blg.. urrgghh i juz find my blog very dumb sumtimes. it's juz like i've got nth eventful or insightful in my life so i blab abt day to day irrelevant stuff. n not that i have beautiful english to flaunt watsoever. haih...
well the a bright side to this is that i can act fit into life of a small town folk, gee i'm such an easily moulded person. i'm able to find joy in tiny weeny irrelevant stuff... juz like sum1 once taught me the goal of life is JUST to live happily every single day.. simple yet so hard at the same time. i'm stil learning.
i don reli have much passion (mayb 40%) or satisfaction (mayb 30%) in my job. watever i do now doesn't require me to study things down to the cellular or molecular level, which is practically the entire MPharm program. since it's a bloody tempting twinning program, i'll get to go to scotland, tour around europe n chill at crazy music festivals WHY NOT?! tour around europe i did tho i missed out on the music festivals.. see.. it's not abt any great expectation or my future.. such is the shallow thinking of a person w/o a vision in life. BUT!
i found out that i can b very serious when it comes to work. when i get bz i'll have this adrenaline rush which is totally sensational (not in clinical dpt tho, alwiz whining abt the heat in the ward n then went MIA haha) gee i didn't know i'm such a WORKAHOLIC! nvr underestimate my capabilites yo!
felt like tying 2 chun li buns, wear a cheong sam to work n kick sum ass... there r so many ass i feel like kicking in a day. *omg random fantasies again* hmm no baju ketat when the stor kecemerlangan auditors r here on tues to thurs.
there r sooo many things to do.. from trivial things like downloading the latest japanese drama to important stuff like filling in borang kaunselling or adr or drug info request (i've not even completed 1 after almoz half a yr). but i'm JUST TOO LAZY once i get back home idling on the bed or in front of the laptop.
sumtimes i realise i'm a spiritual n zenny person, i don give a damn abt materials n i don reli care much abt earning loads of money, as long as i continue living the middle class lifestyle. ya rite.. juz got myself an ipod nano. n i can act rant 1 whole day when the taxi driver charged me a whopping rm7 from muar bus station to the hosp which is like sports complex to sainsbury. haiyo ah pek u think u drive limo ah!! isshh i nvr fail to contradict myself.
sumtimes i juz hope that i can grab my backpack, wonder off sumwhere ALONE, hmm which 'me' wil i b that time or wil i finally exist as a whole. anyhow i juz cudn't muster the courage to get anything started. every now n then in lecture halls in bekalan wad my mind wil juz slip to a faraway land, to another realm.. mayb by merely doing so it is oredi a form of escapism for myself. LOSER!
oh well, guess i juz need to accept the fact that whichever shape i take, it's stil a part of me, hence it's stil ME. it's plain stupid getting emo n struggling on this so-called identity crisis.
i need another mogwai concert... i need sth psychedelic. n i juz missed oasis concert in spore...SHAIT!
i dunno y.. but almoz every nite... i'll b so bogged down by negative tots or negative emotions... i think i seriously need to clean my room, do a 5S... oh yeh baby sumtimes i do blif in feng shui.. all these negative chi r snowballing in my dirty n untidy room for a very long time. it's time to expel the negative chi n welcome sum positive chi into my room.
y did i ever name my blog jadedjude n sprightlysue, 'nuff said.
sicko kiddo, when can u ever find ur equilibrium?
tots in my mind r like scattered lil pieces of jigsaw puzzles that form an abstract painting. ya at the age of 24 i stil cudn't get the whole pic. i'm stil this lost kid who cudn't articulate her tots... ah hell.. emo bemo lynno can juz cry when listening to 'lost' over n over again.
i've not written any blog in march. but i don rmb studying for my forensics either. all i rmb was.. oops.. i did spent A LOT of time lying on the bed. daydreaming or sleeping. sumtimes it irks me that i spent so much time doing nth.. despite many resolutions i'm stil doing NTH every single day. it's pretty scary how time flies truout the prp yr. it can only mean 2 things.
1) i'm stil a noobie after half a yr.
2) i may b nearer to the day of getting posted to sum ulu kk... huuuuuuuu.
talk abt forensics exam, i alwiz have this fear that i cudn't pass. cos of KARMA. for commiting a crime that i was not brave enuf to confess! the day bfor forensics, i drove out for dinner tgt wif housemates. did a reverse while discussing n getting stressed out on the past yr questions. n the nx thing i know.. BAM!!!!
OOPS i forgot to look at the MIRRORS!!! *quickly turn to the back to check out wat's going on!*
i BANG a WIRA!!!!
AND
i caused a DENT on the car!!!!
OMG!!! it.juz.happened. how how how how *panick attack*
n i did wat all noob drivers wud do.. LEAVE the crime scene as quickly as possible!! NOTE: under the advice of housemates hor.
was uneasy the whole day.. i wanted to leave a note but unfortunately i hadn't finish studying!! wat if the owner's a gangster n beat me up?! or a fierce uncle who'll scold me all the way?! i cudn't risk getting emotionally disturbed or causing unnecessary stress to my housemates.
if this incident were to happen on any other ordinary day n not a day bfor my forensics, i'll write an apology note, i'll pay to compensate for the dent. yes, for sure. i'm NOT an irresponsible person, oh lordy pls let me pass forensics... it's simply excruciating to read those sections n regulations which rarely contain a comma or a fullstop.. AGAIN.
eh btw it's april , the month where gor gor leslie cheung n kurt cobain, 2 of my fav idols, decided to take their own lifes. read kurt cobains suicide note.. man it's so destructive to feel jaded. i do feel jaded every now n then, izzit sth alarming? no worries they r like mega-superstars weh, u gotta get til that high up to drop til that low in ur life.
sumtimes my heart wil b dancing so happily like doing a jai-ho.. omg that's like the moz infectious song wif the moz infectious dance scene lately. i'm so driven to sign up an indian dance class like.. rite now.
see i can b a very energetic, enthusiastic n pasionate person.. but of course u need to b in the rite time rite place wif the rite bunch of ppl to set the fire ablaze.
there r oso times that i think i can do sth great.. sth that can change the world (che wa.. like morphing into a power ranger, do a bono, al gore or angelina jolie sorta thing. haha ya i know.. wat on earth am i thinking rite??)
y do i stil feel useless? i've got a degree, i'm sorta financial independent, i have a car. i have a room of my own, i'm away from kl for at least 20 days in a month. y do i stil feel so stiffled every now n then??
i've read my prev blog entries, n then i read other ppl's blg.. urrgghh i juz find my blog very dumb sumtimes. it's juz like i've got nth eventful or insightful in my life so i blab abt day to day irrelevant stuff. n not that i have beautiful english to flaunt watsoever. haih...
well the a bright side to this is that i can act fit into life of a small town folk, gee i'm such an easily moulded person. i'm able to find joy in tiny weeny irrelevant stuff... juz like sum1 once taught me the goal of life is JUST to live happily every single day.. simple yet so hard at the same time. i'm stil learning.
i don reli have much passion (mayb 40%) or satisfaction (mayb 30%) in my job. watever i do now doesn't require me to study things down to the cellular or molecular level, which is practically the entire MPharm program. since it's a bloody tempting twinning program, i'll get to go to scotland, tour around europe n chill at crazy music festivals WHY NOT?! tour around europe i did tho i missed out on the music festivals.. see.. it's not abt any great expectation or my future.. such is the shallow thinking of a person w/o a vision in life. BUT!
i found out that i can b very serious when it comes to work. when i get bz i'll have this adrenaline rush which is totally sensational (not in clinical dpt tho, alwiz whining abt the heat in the ward n then went MIA haha) gee i didn't know i'm such a WORKAHOLIC! nvr underestimate my capabilites yo!
felt like tying 2 chun li buns, wear a cheong sam to work n kick sum ass... there r so many ass i feel like kicking in a day. *omg random fantasies again* hmm no baju ketat when the stor kecemerlangan auditors r here on tues to thurs.
there r sooo many things to do.. from trivial things like downloading the latest japanese drama to important stuff like filling in borang kaunselling or adr or drug info request (i've not even completed 1 after almoz half a yr). but i'm JUST TOO LAZY once i get back home idling on the bed or in front of the laptop.
sumtimes i realise i'm a spiritual n zenny person, i don give a damn abt materials n i don reli care much abt earning loads of money, as long as i continue living the middle class lifestyle. ya rite.. juz got myself an ipod nano. n i can act rant 1 whole day when the taxi driver charged me a whopping rm7 from muar bus station to the hosp which is like sports complex to sainsbury. haiyo ah pek u think u drive limo ah!! isshh i nvr fail to contradict myself.
sumtimes i juz hope that i can grab my backpack, wonder off sumwhere ALONE, hmm which 'me' wil i b that time or wil i finally exist as a whole. anyhow i juz cudn't muster the courage to get anything started. every now n then in lecture halls in bekalan wad my mind wil juz slip to a faraway land, to another realm.. mayb by merely doing so it is oredi a form of escapism for myself. LOSER!
oh well, guess i juz need to accept the fact that whichever shape i take, it's stil a part of me, hence it's stil ME. it's plain stupid getting emo n struggling on this so-called identity crisis.
i need another mogwai concert... i need sth psychedelic. n i juz missed oasis concert in spore...SHAIT!
i dunno y.. but almoz every nite... i'll b so bogged down by negative tots or negative emotions... i think i seriously need to clean my room, do a 5S... oh yeh baby sumtimes i do blif in feng shui.. all these negative chi r snowballing in my dirty n untidy room for a very long time. it's time to expel the negative chi n welcome sum positive chi into my room.
y did i ever name my blog jadedjude n sprightlysue, 'nuff said.
sicko kiddo, when can u ever find ur equilibrium?
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
episode 134: nite shift
THE SIMPLE LIFE
starring
paris LEEDY hilton (don even try to figure out y the heck izzit leedy unless u r oso from hpsf haha)
starring
paris LEEDY hilton (don even try to figure out y the heck izzit leedy unless u r oso from hpsf haha)
season 5: MUAR
ep. 134: NITE SHIFT.
co-star: kak najwar (1st & 2nd nite), kak yani (3rd nite), jshen (4th & 5th nite), fahmi (6th & 7th nite).
task 1. get to know ur dispensers
juz got up from 2 hr nap. staring blankly at the shelves in satellite.. when suddenly i heard karma police. yao mou? at 6am in the morning! am i hallucinating or wat? so i juz check out the tdm room n guess wat...
that's kak najwar n her yahoo music!! *red sleepy eyes popping out instantly*
a small town dispenser who has given birth to 4 or 5 children actually likes listening to RADIOHEAD... WOW!!
i got so excited that i told her how much i luv radiohead n how i miss the concert at glasgow green blabla.. while jamming tdm wif paranoid android=) gee... don u think this is sooo damn cool?!
=task 1 accomplished: kak najwar has gud taste in music=
bimbotic moment: planned to make tuna egg SANDWICH for my 'lunch'. happily packed the egg in a tupperware but totally forgot abt the BREAD!! CIS!! there goes half a loaf of bread.. serving as a cosy breeding ground for moulds.
task 2: self development - bravery
che wa i can act run MANY times to DIM-LITTED opd, TAKING MY TIME to grab sum meds ALONE in the WEE HRS W/O ANY FEAR n W/O IMAGINATION RUNNING WILD!! ok i know i know wait til i go bekalan wad n have a look at that nvr ending walkway. but sheez i'm very proud of myself. *purposely capitalletter-fied the words juz so u guys get my pt keke*
=task 2 accomplished: leedy is no more chicken yo!=
bimbotic moment: cursing bloody A & E doctors only AFTER hanging up the phone. issh if i have the courtesy to call u can u pls have the courtesy to cooperate a bit. yerr not like it's my fault that v run out of syrup amoxicillin.
task 3: get along well wif jshen
i finally got to work wif jshen the GREAT but WOOT! i freaking skip my sleep cos v were talking truout the whole nite!! cheH~ wa. instead of doing the typical jshen's HARH lidat oso u dunno ah? when i was being hopelessly noobie, she act smiled.. mind u.. SMILED=) n said.. aiyoh! y u so cute 1? see ky, it's ur prob, u yong suih la.
=task 3 accomplished: humanly side of js detected.. even tho it's only a wee bit=
bimbotic moment: attempted to replace the ribbon of the label printing machine. put on serious thinking cap, activated analytical brain, trying to figure out how to pasang that damn ribbon. but No! it's stil not working!! until shahril came in the morning.
shahril: u ada pasang salah ke?
me: TAK MUNGKIN!! saya tengok ribbon yg lama tu memang pasang mcm ini. gulungan yg tebal tu kena hala ke luar.
shahril: -_-III ah suilin!!! ribbon lama tu dah habis jalan 1 cycle!!! skrg ni kita nak pasang ribbon BARU yg belum jalan lagi!!
eh YA HORRRRRRRR!! *walau can juz throw my brain into the tong sampah*
task 4: cover for fahmi so that he can go out to watch man u vs inter milan (oh btw man u kena thrased by liverpool *OH OH OH.. liverpool!!*
the 2 nites wif fahmi-the-ever-so-cuddly-teddy-bear-wif-seductive-barble doll-y-eye lashes were reli DA BOMB!!
bimbotic moment: i accidentally drop sth on the floor.. forgot izzit a pen or wat. while v both bend down to take it the tip of our fingers came in contact. n
ZAP!
v both kena electric shock for a sec, LITERALLY!! i'm not kidding!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHHAH!
there's this strong static electric field. it's juz like those scenes on tv where both eyes met n there's this imaginary high voltage in between their eyes but dammit ours is FOR REAL! ah hah *face as red as tomato* *SHYZ zhor.*
n omg i juz burst into the wildest laughter when i stumbled upon his darkest secrets. shhhh. *ah hiok ah hiok* *omg i juz luv to do this goofy laugh lately!!!* *ah hiok ah hiok*
n i almoz finish 1 season of scrubs within these 2 nites. juz when i was halfway in this sesuai utk ditonton oleh semua lapisan masyarakat comedy, a ward attendant freaking ram into satellite asking for vanco STAT.
wahpiang! it all happened in a few sec that i cudn't minimize the screen in time n of all scenes, mind u, OF ALL SCENES, it juz HAD TO paused rite where elliot was being horny in her SEXY LINGERIE!! n the naked guy was wrapped under a blanket.
arrghhhh! can the timing get any better than this?! *i juz wanna dig a hole n jump in*
i don dare to look at his face WAT IF he winks back. ILLL!
n who knows after this i'll get... *touch wood* ..
incidence reporting #1. prp watching porn during nite shift. i'm so doomed!! hahahaha.
incidence reporting #2. disturbing patients wif hysterical laughter. omg y is scrubs so nonsensically amusing!
so i was eating chips n sipping water truout n there's his scene where the alwiz kena bullied ted suddenly flew in a projectile motion n landed in a pile of sand.
AKAKAKAKAKAKAKA! can it get more comical than this?!
n there was i.. executing my ear-piercing laughter but dammit i FORGOT i was DRINKING WATER at the very same time!!!!
so i juz spewed water at a pressure high enuf to produce that same ted projectile. AKAKAKAKAKAKAKA! if i ever kena incidence reporting i shall juz go across the causeway n make a living there, replacing the merlion yg disambar petir hahaha.
fahmi escaped the wet shower narrowly n he laughed so hard that he had to hold his big tummy awwwwwwwww so KIIIIIIIIIIIIOOooooooOOTTTTTTT! while i almoz choked to death, kanasai.
=task 4 accomplished: rewarded wif 2 hrs of sleep, lemon ribena, nasi lemak n loads of scrubs=
task 5: get a nice hairstyle
oh wat doing sth to my hair again?! oh yes i'm forever so impulsive.
bimbotic moment: megada-ly wanted to attempt a rihanna bob.
but it's not advisable by hairstylist cos my hair is super thin . ok, juz trim n rebond.
n WTH truout the whole week, i was basically ridiculed wherever i go. volume-less flat hair. pathetic strands of weird-looking cleopatra-wannabe fringe. end product: super cannot make it.
have to bear wif housemates n colleagues evil laughters. OUCH!
random pharmacy ppk came up to me juz to say they prefer my prev hairstyle. OUCH!
n then shahril started to call me BUDAK SPASTIC. HUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu bloody hell.... this is way too OUCH!
no 1 gud comment until today. fine fine fine fine. sumday my hair wil b bigger n my fringe wil get thicker.
=task FAILED FAILED FAILED FAILED!!!!=
++++++++++++
oh n it's only fair that the guest star of the episode get sum credits too. thanx for coming all the way to accompany me n adjust to my erratic working hrs. it reli feels like v r living in the same dimension but yet in completely diff time zone damn funny haha.
guest star: dear.
++++++++++++++
director cum producer cum editor: leedy=)
Monday, 16 February 2009
forget, forgot, forgotten
ooh wow... looking at the no. of posts for feb, seems like ranty aunty had not been ranting for quite sum time. great!
ok lo.. i admit i stil like to bring up that inhaler incident every now n then in any random conversation wif any random person yalar i know i am this very irritating drama queen keke.. but then it's the fastest way to get things off my chest n now, i'm able to relate the whole incident w/o anger choking my throat anymore. it's like i've got 1 more not so ordinary experience under my belt now. oh yeh baby *muz do that ming's style.. as in BAYYYYY~~ BEH*
yep life goes on. juz finished a month at clinical. omg i was SUPER DEMORALISED. makes me wonder y do my profession even exist in this world??? oh yeh i have a long list of demoralising events.. gonna blog it sumday, if not i'll sure sound like a cheong hei aunty wif sagging boobs AGAIN.
juz hanging out my clothes which were left in the washing machine for 2 bloody nites! yes let's now dedicate the rest of my entry to hail my
FORGETFULNESS.
i mean hopelessly forgetful.
woot hope mom doesn't read my blog. n omg let's hope that my colleagues won ask me where the unpleasant odor come from cos i 'm not gonna wash that pile of clothes again. *sniff sniff * ok pass. it doesn't stink when u r 25cm away from me.
n oh well, not gonna iron it cos i'm hiding underneath the labcoat moz of the time. save electricity che wa i'm such an environmentalist. my housemates act got culture shock that i nvr reli iron my clothes truout my life, n when i was in high skool i juz stack dictionaries (yes not kidding u, those thick thick ones where u can baling to the dogs n they pengsan straight away) over my pengawas pusat sumber uniform truout the whole nite, u know to give sum pressure juz so i get a wee bit of ironing effect w/o making any effort of ironing wth.
n oh wow... i act have culture shock that these ppl IRON THEIR JEANS. like... halo... it's juz jeans! haahaha.
n u know on mon frp tan kecik called to check if i'm supposed to do lunch call n the nx thing i know the myvi that was heading to 99 foodcourt was shaken by a loud AHHHhhhh SRY!
yep. exactly. i totally FORGET to do LUNCH CALL!!
for gudness sake how can i ever forget my shift? neurones degeneration i guess. n thank gudness frp here r reli kind souls n juz so happen that opd is aman damai that day so they don need a pro there. eeks tak tau malu. ok talk abt malu, there's another incident to share.
ok lo.. i admit i stil like to bring up that inhaler incident every now n then in any random conversation wif any random person yalar i know i am this very irritating drama queen keke.. but then it's the fastest way to get things off my chest n now, i'm able to relate the whole incident w/o anger choking my throat anymore. it's like i've got 1 more not so ordinary experience under my belt now. oh yeh baby *muz do that ming's style.. as in BAYYYYY~~ BEH*
yep life goes on. juz finished a month at clinical. omg i was SUPER DEMORALISED. makes me wonder y do my profession even exist in this world??? oh yeh i have a long list of demoralising events.. gonna blog it sumday, if not i'll sure sound like a cheong hei aunty wif sagging boobs AGAIN.
juz hanging out my clothes which were left in the washing machine for 2 bloody nites! yes let's now dedicate the rest of my entry to hail my
FORGETFULNESS.
i mean hopelessly forgetful.
woot hope mom doesn't read my blog. n omg let's hope that my colleagues won ask me where the unpleasant odor come from cos i 'm not gonna wash that pile of clothes again. *sniff sniff * ok pass. it doesn't stink when u r 25cm away from me.
n oh well, not gonna iron it cos i'm hiding underneath the labcoat moz of the time. save electricity che wa i'm such an environmentalist. my housemates act got culture shock that i nvr reli iron my clothes truout my life, n when i was in high skool i juz stack dictionaries (yes not kidding u, those thick thick ones where u can baling to the dogs n they pengsan straight away) over my pengawas pusat sumber uniform truout the whole nite, u know to give sum pressure juz so i get a wee bit of ironing effect w/o making any effort of ironing wth.
n oh wow... i act have culture shock that these ppl IRON THEIR JEANS. like... halo... it's juz jeans! haahaha.
n u know on mon frp tan kecik called to check if i'm supposed to do lunch call n the nx thing i know the myvi that was heading to 99 foodcourt was shaken by a loud AHHHhhhh SRY!
yep. exactly. i totally FORGET to do LUNCH CALL!!
for gudness sake how can i ever forget my shift? neurones degeneration i guess. n thank gudness frp here r reli kind souls n juz so happen that opd is aman damai that day so they don need a pro there. eeks tak tau malu. ok talk abt malu, there's another incident to share.
not only that i'm blur, my england is oso very poor. i used to pronounced waived as in wat if w/o the 't' like wa-eef... u know since my high skool days cos i tot i heard cs pronounced that way too eesshh tulah padah suka nak tiru org yg cakap mcm glamor sangat.
wahhhh... for all these yrs y no 1 ever have the courtesy to correct me?! WHY?!
until when i said that word in front of ming n ky, they both laughed their lungs out. oh yeh... so it's waived.. as in wave..
KAKAKAKKAKAKAKKA.*malu*. n the joke is that... ming reminded me that naive is stil... na-eef not.. nave...
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! walau eh! halo. this 1 i know ok!
btw... evian, the so atas mineral water, when spelled backwards, is NAIVE. cool heh!
dunno leh... hahaha my uncle shared this wif me once upon a time.
ah looking at my room, green n pink n white papers over the floor. cp1, 2 , 3 flying all around when i on the fan. wat a sore but beautiful sight. not that i care to do any pharmaceutical care issues cos obviously there's none. n i've not reli made any intervention so far.. BOOOoooo. master of pharmacy degree hor.
law books r oso forever lying on the floor.. hogging for attn 'hey read me' wif it's bright violet cover but i juz don give a damn abt it's existence. forensics' on 23rd march n yawn yawn, adrenaline not pumping yet.
n oohh, i'l b presenting my research outline to js on fri. she told me to read up, give a brief account on intro, objective, literature review. i shud b able to define wat's daily defined dosage n y do v quantify antibiotics using this. oohh wow tot i'm NOT gonna study journals ever again after CPP... n then i got this cpe presenation on mid march on warfarin n the clinic... oooh wow march is not a gud month for me...
if sth as slien as Raf/MEK/ERK signalling cascade n erm generate new hits that target MEK1 using virtual screening can b done in 1 week, DDD for antibiotics sounds like it can b handled in a day. NO? i dunno. let's count how many "HARH?! U DUNNO AH?!" i'll get from js on fri keke.
ok stil no motivation yet.
don get me wrong i 'm all hardworking, responsible n serious at work, *yes yes i can c all frps nodding their head* juz that when i stress out i like to walk up n down aimlessly or termenung at the comp screen or go pee in the toilet *omg alwiz kena caught by cyee, which means she oso like to snake at the toilet hahaha*.
randomness aside.. my current life has been a weird ride so far. forget, forgot, forgotten. ah watever. i was alwiz caught by lil surprises here n there. i juz take it 1 at a time n go wif the flow. u know surprises like...
ahh... like... omg i have so many to list out. make that my nx post. i'm dead tired now. n i'm so excited! cos i know i'll b seeing pfong this weekend, n oso all my batchmates at johor! see ya guys!
oh wait this post was act written on feb 26th. tersambung wrong entry liao haha.
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
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