so bored until at the spur of the moment, i transformed my boredom into basin + toilet bowl scrubbing. yes i'm that bored. 1 more look into the module notes n the =HannahHulk= in me is gonna tear up the pages apart. so i blog.
there was a bbq gathering n a bday celebration. sum time to breathe fresh air, destress, detox, de-watever.. but when they ended, stress level shoot up cos u realised that ah so much time lost!
the bbq gathering was a product of many misunderstandings haha. anyway the chicken wings n the desserts were yummy! 1st time i act shiver in a bbq, 1st time i don need a fan to brow of the drop of sweat trickling down my nose to the chicken haha. it's diff in glasgow, the damn convenient disposal bbq kit juz n help from a gush of glasgow wind, whoala the flame was set in few nanoseconds.
then i thoroughly exposed my poor reflex to a mass audience n had to gulp down yucky smell-and-taste-like-air-longkang mixture. eeeewwwww! the yuckiest part of all, the mixture contained DURIANS! walao.... the stinkiest fruit on earth, i seriously don understand y ppl like it so much lo! ya this malaysian gene is sumhow missing in me, ok so wat i don need love-durian-gene replacement therapy to b a msian ok! the nite was stil young n was ended wif a pillow-talk session talking abt sum1 ngeh ngeh ngeh *wink wink.
it's neigbour jasmin's bday ytrday. here in jbc, ppl gather to celebrate bday. whether it's a high profile or quiet affair. lotsa ppl gather in my lounge for her big day n awww.. guitars n songs juz make my messy n dirty lounge into a cosy n heartwarming area, meltzz ma heart=) when they started to sing..
it's amazing how u can speak rite to my heart... awww.. pop songs r not my cup of tea but dunno y this reli touches me everytime i hear it.. when u say nth at all... awww... those were the times i act tot ronan keating very leng chai. ahh it brought back the fond memories of the penang trip wif my alevel frens when i was 18. gah jas min's juz celebrating her 21st bday! (yee jelez!! my 21st bday was long ago wuuhuu...) n u know wat... jas min can sing! think her voice's the best i've heard so far in my batch no kiddin'.
this past week has been stressful. alamak it's like 3 4 or 5 events bsshh bam boom come crashing at u until u can't breathe properly. so wat u juz can't sit on ur butt n those things to solve by their own. it was made harder when 1 decision does not revolve around u alone, it involves the root of all evil n oso, a lot of ppl. it's totally diff from studies-related stress. dahlah failed miserably in time management. now have a hard time juggling btw 2 things. 1) urgent but not that important. 2) important but not that urgent, which is stuying for exam, duh.
i can't breathe.
2 week's gone. 1st for amsterdam n battery charging. 2nd week was crazy. can u blif it?! it's only 2 weeks to my final yr exam of MPharm degree. bwah! that's way too short to cover everything man! shoot. i seriously dunno how. samo got short attention span, can't concentrate for more than 30 mins. i can juz stare at the word blankly n brain melayang to spain then to msia then where to bring parents around if they r in scotland. daydream syndrome... issh. stop daydreaming lin-sama, the world is nvr gonna b ideal!
if not i'll juz get sooo fidgety n started doing star jump n shook the whole block G. whoever's staying rite below me, paiseh=P
=boredBebo=
Friday 25 April 2008
Thursday 17 April 2008
research project
uh another post left to rot. sheez i defly can't make a life out of blogging.
anyway shoo! if u r allergic to bore-u-to-death reflection kinda post.
++
wat a relief to shove the end product into the metal cabinet! by that i mean immense relief. in fact that's how i felt everytime i passed up an assignment last min plus the adrenaline rush, but this surely meant a lot as it's the last in my uni life, cud b the last research project in my entire life.
n fulamak, that's the 1st time in my life i stay awake the whole nite! juz to get that damn thing done! y'know to put those tables in place was such a pain in the arse.
gosh been so comfortable wif the exam-oriented education system all this while, miss those a level days when v only need to study when exam's round the corner.
...assignment? ...WAT?! *shrugs bimbotically*
that oso i did miserably for my bio. cos i hate it n din finish covering the syllabus. i WAS a terrible student.
researching n writing up essays r my biggest weaknesses. i barely finish my cpp essay in a week, n 2 pharmcare essays in 10 days... but a week to write up a discussion n complete the entire research project?! boy was i out of my mind??!! i've got not time to read over wat i wrote. no final editing, i let it happen AGAIN, on my final yr research project! c, i'm STILL a terrible student.
juz when i tot the books that i borrowed from library r gonna help me out, wth only a 4th yr chem student can understand that i bet. 1st the complicated cellular signaling, then the complicated chemistry of ligand-receptor binding n then the complicated computer softwares which all drove me bonkers!
moz of the time i had fun playing wif my molecules than act answering the questions. n sumtimes, =perfectionistPaige= merasuk n i'd rotate my molecule for hrs juz to get a nice, clear image. (duh in the end i delete moz of it!) well it's bcos of this i bump into a new finding, my hit's a competitive inhibitor when i wan it to b non-competitive.. DENG! *panic*
since then i've been presenting my datas n answering those questions in a diplomatic way, hoping to keep it safe. well sry for my partner who have to deal wif my last min finding, v pulled it tru anyway. hey ms. ku... i complimented u gau gau in my acknowledgement ok!! muahaha... by gau gau i mean 1 sentence.
n then i tried to read up on GOLD docking program to have more understanding on my project, wahpiang!! imagine a comp software has sth to do wif chromosome, mutation n evolution, WTH it's totally out of my scope ok!! i even had a hard time figuring out van der waals forces n hydrophobic interaction. it's not defined as wat i've alwiz tot it is. *scratch head
gave up on understanding n attempt to answer the questions straight. n i've wasted precious time by looking up materials that didn't fit into my discussion. let's say..
y do we delete water molecules. bet i search long enuf for this, but moz literature r on retaining water molecules. sumhow my gut feeling juz tell me it has sth to do wif entropy so i started crapping my own answer, only after passing up that i realised i misphrased it in such a way that sounds like Hbonds r thermodynamically unfavourable.. when act many things in this universe interact by Hbonds! i'm DOOMED! i can totally imagine simon wif his hahthisisrubbish kinda look when marking my half past 6 work.
ya pt is i knew clearly that i needed more than a week, given that i had zero knowledge on the crazy stuff that i'm dealing wif. wat's more it carries the moz credits! but heck i din put in the effort that i was supposed to. i shud've started researching since the lab session, esp since i've got the privilege of having a relaxed 1.
no matter how much i hate researching, i'm a 4th yr undergraduate. i shud at least allocate more time on research, write things up, final edit, n hand in a decent project. sumtimes i tot.. as long as i pass it doesn't matter wat class i got, v r all gonna graduate as pharmacist sumday. but then, i'm slowly swallowed by guilt when i think of how much my dad have paid to put me here, n mayb by putting a lil more effort i can act make them very proud. it's reli my responsibility to get a gud pass.
shoot. i'm inorganised, hopelessly playful, n unable to prioritise things. it's totally understandable now y my parents can nvr trust me, n y my bf can nvr stop worrying of me (he's playing my parent's role now that i'm abroad haha). i've yet to reach that level of maturity n serves u rite lin-sama for failing to earn their trust. i'm either stucked wif peterpan in neverland syndrome or this rebellious teen thingy. i pretty much screw this myself. DAMMIT!
boy am i regretting this? i can't turn back time. well hope that by studying hard for the final exams i can salvage the situation. shit not like they carry lotsa credits. omg can i even pass cpp? let's cross fingers that i'll graduate at 30th jun. good luck to every1 too=)
++
haha it's kinda weird when posting this entry which i've written like 2 weeks ago. cos sadly i hasn't changed a bit. my guilt n motivation are overshadowed by my obsessive compulsive trip plannings n watching desperate housewifes. wth, get those concentration n enthusiasm on those module notes pls!!!!
=guiltyGwen=
anyway shoo! if u r allergic to bore-u-to-death reflection kinda post.
++
wat a relief to shove the end product into the metal cabinet! by that i mean immense relief. in fact that's how i felt everytime i passed up an assignment last min plus the adrenaline rush, but this surely meant a lot as it's the last in my uni life, cud b the last research project in my entire life.
n fulamak, that's the 1st time in my life i stay awake the whole nite! juz to get that damn thing done! y'know to put those tables in place was such a pain in the arse.
gosh been so comfortable wif the exam-oriented education system all this while, miss those a level days when v only need to study when exam's round the corner.
...assignment? ...WAT?! *shrugs bimbotically*
that oso i did miserably for my bio. cos i hate it n din finish covering the syllabus. i WAS a terrible student.
researching n writing up essays r my biggest weaknesses. i barely finish my cpp essay in a week, n 2 pharmcare essays in 10 days... but a week to write up a discussion n complete the entire research project?! boy was i out of my mind??!! i've got not time to read over wat i wrote. no final editing, i let it happen AGAIN, on my final yr research project! c, i'm STILL a terrible student.
juz when i tot the books that i borrowed from library r gonna help me out, wth only a 4th yr chem student can understand that i bet. 1st the complicated cellular signaling, then the complicated chemistry of ligand-receptor binding n then the complicated computer softwares which all drove me bonkers!
moz of the time i had fun playing wif my molecules than act answering the questions. n sumtimes, =perfectionistPaige= merasuk n i'd rotate my molecule for hrs juz to get a nice, clear image. (duh in the end i delete moz of it!) well it's bcos of this i bump into a new finding, my hit's a competitive inhibitor when i wan it to b non-competitive.. DENG! *panic*
since then i've been presenting my datas n answering those questions in a diplomatic way, hoping to keep it safe. well sry for my partner who have to deal wif my last min finding, v pulled it tru anyway. hey ms. ku... i complimented u gau gau in my acknowledgement ok!! muahaha... by gau gau i mean 1 sentence.
n then i tried to read up on GOLD docking program to have more understanding on my project, wahpiang!! imagine a comp software has sth to do wif chromosome, mutation n evolution, WTH it's totally out of my scope ok!! i even had a hard time figuring out van der waals forces n hydrophobic interaction. it's not defined as wat i've alwiz tot it is. *scratch head
gave up on understanding n attempt to answer the questions straight. n i've wasted precious time by looking up materials that didn't fit into my discussion. let's say..
y do we delete water molecules. bet i search long enuf for this, but moz literature r on retaining water molecules. sumhow my gut feeling juz tell me it has sth to do wif entropy so i started crapping my own answer, only after passing up that i realised i misphrased it in such a way that sounds like Hbonds r thermodynamically unfavourable.. when act many things in this universe interact by Hbonds! i'm DOOMED! i can totally imagine simon wif his hahthisisrubbish kinda look when marking my half past 6 work.
ya pt is i knew clearly that i needed more than a week, given that i had zero knowledge on the crazy stuff that i'm dealing wif. wat's more it carries the moz credits! but heck i din put in the effort that i was supposed to. i shud've started researching since the lab session, esp since i've got the privilege of having a relaxed 1.
no matter how much i hate researching, i'm a 4th yr undergraduate. i shud at least allocate more time on research, write things up, final edit, n hand in a decent project. sumtimes i tot.. as long as i pass it doesn't matter wat class i got, v r all gonna graduate as pharmacist sumday. but then, i'm slowly swallowed by guilt when i think of how much my dad have paid to put me here, n mayb by putting a lil more effort i can act make them very proud. it's reli my responsibility to get a gud pass.
shoot. i'm inorganised, hopelessly playful, n unable to prioritise things. it's totally understandable now y my parents can nvr trust me, n y my bf can nvr stop worrying of me (he's playing my parent's role now that i'm abroad haha). i've yet to reach that level of maturity n serves u rite lin-sama for failing to earn their trust. i'm either stucked wif peterpan in neverland syndrome or this rebellious teen thingy. i pretty much screw this myself. DAMMIT!
boy am i regretting this? i can't turn back time. well hope that by studying hard for the final exams i can salvage the situation. shit not like they carry lotsa credits. omg can i even pass cpp? let's cross fingers that i'll graduate at 30th jun. good luck to every1 too=)
++
haha it's kinda weird when posting this entry which i've written like 2 weeks ago. cos sadly i hasn't changed a bit. my guilt n motivation are overshadowed by my obsessive compulsive trip plannings n watching desperate housewifes. wth, get those concentration n enthusiasm on those module notes pls!!!!
=guiltyGwen=
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