the birth of a baby is celebrated. the death of an old man is mourned. it's happening within 2 days in my maternal family. wat an irony. i tried to walk down memory lane, searching for those moments v shared wif him.. ya v had gatherings in taiping on cny n his bday. but i nvr reli have a nice chat wif him, nvr hold his hand n stroll in the park. i felt bad. then i cudn't attend the entire funeral procession.. n not doing my part as a granddaughter, now i'm feeling VERY bad.
i took only 1 day's leave to pay my last respect. for the 1st time in my life, seeing a dead body lying inside a coffin rite in front of me, tot it's gonna b scary but when i look at that peaceful face, all i felt was calm n serene. it's a relief that he passed away w/o much pain n suffering. yes, v din shed a tear bcos u told us not to. r.i.p grandpa.
human beings r claustrophobic in general, well at least i am. but come to think abt it, u were enveloped in ur mom's womb when u were stil a foetus, but u r not realising it. n when u die, u'll b enclosed in a coffin, oso nvr realising it. so.. wat am i trying to say.. i dunno. juz having sum tots.. not to deep.. n juz feeling weird.. yeah.. yet again.