i can't sleep but i'm feeling very calm n zenny. ah heck, y izzit so...
i'm looking at the pile of boxes n luggages n bags lining on the floor. yeh i pretty much lug everything in my room except the furnitures. *perempuan!* 3 months later, n i'm packing again. this sucks! it's 95% done rite now, at 12.56am. ni la padah nya to pack last min.
shud i bring along my tilam? rice cooker? pots? ahh =SiLai Lin= in da house. nah, didn't bring any of those tho i wish to.
going off to jb tomolo. so that i can lapor diri on monday once the kementerian kesihatan johor buka pintu. *kiasuism at its best* so that i'll b posted to muar. so that i can go back to kl effortlessly every weekend. che wa 1st time in my life so homesick!
all this while, i live by the motto "when the ship goes near the bridge it'll b straight". *uh i don mean it literally, translate in cantonese la pls* i'm alwiz the last person to worry n i'm lucky that things kinda fall in place.
but now.. huuuu.. 1st time in my life i'm facing so many uncertainties. i dunno where i'll b posted. i dunno where i'll b staying. i dunno whether wil i get to rent a clean, strategic room in the heart of muar so that i can walk to the hospital, eating place n the shopping complex bcos i can't drive n i don have a car. n yeh.. i'm working.. wif no inkling on wat i'm gonna deal wif.. wif only a wee bit of memory on things i've studied bcos my brain is pretty much occupied by memories of my europe trips. i'm so gonna get scolded from my seniors bcos of my stupidity.
la la la la la la.
scared? not yet.
things juz haven't kick in yet! issh issh issh y do i alwiz lack the sense of urgency.
but when things start to kick in... OMG! i'm so gonna have a panick attack. i'll freak out more than any1 else. i'll b soo damn nervous until i can cry non stop. yeh i used to cry everytime skool reopen, from kindergarten to imu. not in glasgow tho cos i felt like i was on vacation haha.
i can foresee myself having swollen goldfish eyes every monday morning! buuuhuuuuhuuuuu. y am i such a crybaby.
ok stop blabbing. i'm juz trying to say i'm feeling............. weird.