so called interview

it has to be situated at the vicinity of dataran merdeka.
it has to fall on 28th aug, 3 days bfor our national day.

that's wat i'm in for... hari kemerdekaan REHEARSAL = roadS CLOSURE = JAM!!!

the route cudn't work as planned, trapped in a massive jam, daughter may b late for a job interview, search desperately for alternative route, this.. was wat my dad felt when he saw the 4 orange cones blocking the damn road which he totally din foresee.. super BEK CHEK!!!

yeh was late for 20 mins, but luckily it's nth.

moz batchmates who had gone tru the interviews gave the same remark.. juz go in n chat only la.. wa seh like damn relaxed.

ahhh hrs past... damn... i juz hate to wait.
the more i wait, the more nervous n restless i got!

hence i've accumulated heaps of nerves truout the 4 hrs or more. my chill attitude don apply to such occasions?! wat.. my confidence n self-esteem r diminishing?

then su ann came out.. MY TURN!! gosh... my nerves got up to my throat the moment i open the door n greet the interviewers. man the environment inside was soo tense. i dunno it's bcos of me or the 2 non-smiling interviewers.

'chuen' lady interviewer: apa no. ic?
me: lapan lima........

'chuen' lady interviewer: KUAT SIKIT!! *in a stern voice*
me: hah... *stunned for awhile*

wei i din c that coming lo, everybody bfor this said CHAT only! tot they shud b nice n frenly. NO... she's not!!! eh don scare ppl lidat can anot... my 1st job interview leh, have sum mercy pls!

then... i forgot it's bfor or during my introduction... i was suddenly told to STAND UP. as if there's not enuf to scare the shit out of me, i was told to TURN AROUND.

oiii apa ni? this is not auditioning for malaysian dreamgirls ok! i don need to turnaround for u to c my uninteresting figure n stats.

OMG that means there muz b sth so SALAH wif me!!

i had no choice but to stand up. i was like.. turnaround?.. shait.. did i stain my pants? n at that moment did i realise sth.

c, my shirt was tucked into my pants nicely. but bcos the cutting is bit short, so when i sit, the tucked in-part of my shirt was pulled out unintentionally.
she act noticed that!! my gawd!! wat sharp eyes she got.

so when i was told to stand, the tuck-in part of my shirt naughtily slipped out of my pants, as if i din tuck in my shirt at all. this is BAD impression, i don wan to b commented as tak sopan or tak senonoh or watever. i simply tucked in sum bits of my shirt wif my fingers. *while showing an embarassed smile*

well she din say a word.. but i pretty much think this is my mistake la. takkan she fancy my butt rite? n hor bfor tat she mentioned that peiling's baju kurung is the proper attire for interview.

anyway my panic attack was in full mode dah. i muster all the energy i got to SUPPRESS it, act cool je la. seriously the panic attack had burnt out many neurones in my brain. i can't explain my final yr research project fluently even in english!! was desperately stringing the key words blindly into sentences. drug disscovery. virtual screening. anti-inflammatory drugs. MAPK pathway. MEK1 inhibitor. woosh wat a hard time i had!

nx Q was wat do i think abt recreational drugs.. glad that it's not a difficult question. managed to answer it wif my pathetic vocab ability. i warm myself up. this leads to the nx question... how do v stop ppl from taking those recreational drugs? unexpectedly i gave them the kinda answer that soothes their ear, yee juz when i tot it's juz typical essay style answers. having said that, they hoped that i'm willing to serve in rural areas where ppl r deprived of basic healthcare education. *how stupid of me to lead them to this part of the converstion!!* gosh afterwhich i made another heroic statement which pleased them so much they praised me it was the 1st time they heard such answer!

wait... i answered entirely w/o my mind filtering wat i was saying. man i myself think that for that moment i reli mean it.. i sound so sincere! like whoa... i can b so noble actually! i reli don mind to go to those ulu places? but i tot all the while i wan to b in kl n nowhere else?! man am i producing these answers juz bcos i was under pressure n my brain was not able to function properly n i'm juz a hypocrit who wans to impress.. i used to loathe hypocrite n wth... i may b juz 1 of them! my my... which is me? honest or hypocrit? suddenly i got this identity crisis.

end of interview. surprisingly my session was shorter. anyway juz rite after i stepped out of the room, RELIEF! i can no longer hold on the panick attack that i've suppressed, while my inner self was battling, cos i dunno which is me, plus hormones raging...

huuuuuuuu i'm going to sabah! my tears juz spilled out, in front of my batchmates!! don ask me y.. it's juz complicated. haha i think i frightened peiling cos she yelled for edmond while comforting me. wa damn sia sueh lo! y do i have to do such embarrasing thing?

it's nth to cry for.. it's juz a so-called interview... it's juz a formality... v were pretty sure to work for government watever it may be... y do i succumb to such emotions... dang!!! i have very low EQ lo. control, gal... CONTROL!

haih....
hahaha...
i'm all calm n peaceful now.. when i looked back at wat happened this morning... i reli had a gud laugh... i damn stupid sumtimes la.


=PMSPenny=